


Shut up

by orphan_account



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, But nines is basically just fanon so who cares, Comfort/Angst, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent Hank Anderson, M/M, Nines is just fucking with gender roles okay?, Probably ooc, Protective Connor, Protective Gavin Reed, Protective Parent Hank Anderson, Sad with a Happy Ending, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900, Tags Are Hard, This was supposed to be fluff idk what happened, Trans Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has a Different Name, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29892639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Nines experiments a bit with his gender expression, but is nervous about what Gavin will think.
Relationships: Connor/Upgraded Connor | RK900, Hank Anderson & Upgraded Connor | RK900, Upgraded Connor | RK900 & Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Kudos: 24





	Shut up

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be pure fluff and then it just turned into sad angst, it gets better tho so idk, enjoy I guess

Nines stared into the mirror, taking himself in. Not that he needed to, he had analyzed his image In 0.28 seconds; however, the android wanted to decide how he felt about his current look.

Deciding, that was something he did now.

He- after some light agonizing Nines had concluded that he was in fact a he- had been in the mall a few days prior. He had bought some new accessories on a whim.

Whims, those were also things that he had.

It was decidedly uncharacteristic of the android detective to spend money on things that he didn't need, but it had felt... good, it felt human.

Although the look the cashier gave him definitely did not feel good. Nines had ignored the older human scowling at him as he rung up the several sparkly items that he was buying, but it seemed to be burned into his memory.

Metaphorically speaking that is, his memory couldn't be burned.

But in any case, Nines did quite like the image he saw in the mirror; he had placed a silver bow in his hair, adorned with sparkles that he thought matched his pale blue eyes quite well. He smiled, he had found that bows were something he... liked.

He liked things, he liked that he could like things.

But his smile soon faded and was replaced with a familiar look of anxiety. He wasn't that oblivious; Nines knew that bows were a... feminine thing (unless of course they were around your neck, for some reason). He also knew that makeup... and heels... and nail polish... were all... feminine.

The anxiety spread out from his thirium pump to every sensor on his body. Not literally of course, that's just what it felt like.

He didn't like that those things were 'feminine'. He wasn't a woman, he just liked those things. He didn't like how humans made him feel for liking those things, he also didn't like that he couldn't just wear the things he wanted to wear. It was stupid.

But maybe it was for the better, after all, Gavin might not like him wearing 'feminine' things either.

The very thought of Gavin made his nerves reach new heights.

The surly detective had never expressed any aversion to 'feminine' things, but what if he didn't like it? It would ruin everything, he didn't want to lose Gavin, not so soon.

No, he couldn't let detective Reed know about any of this.

If Gavin didn't like it, he would just stop and keep everything a secret, he didn't have to like those things anymore.

Preconstruction after preconstruction played out in his head, Gavin found out, then Gavin left. Nines felt stupid for what he was doing, it was stupid to try and experiment with things.

He should have just left it alone.

The android was sufficiently worked up, his artificial breathing was working in overtime, trying to cool down his rapidly heating biocomponents. He wished at that moment, that he could cry.

He wished he could just fucking understand what he was feeling. 

But he couldn't, so he just took an armful of the stuff he liked, and threw it in the trash.

He viciously wiped off the makeup on his face, scrubbing long after it was all gone, and temporarily exposing the white chassis underneath.

He didn't like it anyways.

He ripped the bow out, along with a chunk of his artificial hair. It caused a very unpleasant sensation in his sensors, but he didn't care.

He was sobbing tearlessly and couldn't seem too catch his breath. The android who was always so stoic, so calm and reserved, was hyperventilating on the floor.

Nines didn't know how long he stayed like that, or rather, he did know, he just didn't want to check. A few hours at least.

A loud knock came from his bedroom door, that meant that Connor and Hank were back. He tried to collect himself to answer the door, but he didn't want anyone to see the absolute mess he had made.

"Y-yeah?" He cursed himself for stuttering in the almost normal tone he had constructed.

"Nines? Are you alright?" Connor called through the door, he was concerned. Of course he was, there was no way he hadn't heard his brother with the racket he was making, Hank probably heard him too.

"Yeah, m'fine" Nines choked out, he definitely did not sound fine.

"What's going on?" His brother's voice was growing softer, trying to comfort the younger android.

Nines didn't answer, he thought it would only make things worse.

"Kid? What's goin' on in there?" Hank's unmistakably gruff voice broke through the silence.

The RK900 waited a few moments before answering.

"It's nothing lieutenant, just-just leave me alone...!" He yelled louder than he needed to, and that was when the two partners became very worried.

They asked a few more questions through the door, but he just kept silent and hoped they would leave,.

He had the day off tomorrow anyways, he wouldn't have to talk to them until Monday. 

The thought made him equal parts relieved and desolate.

He had really disappointed everyone, hadn't he? And they didn't even know what he was doing yet.

Nines heard them walk away from his door and laid on the ground, he hated this.

The last thing he wanted to do was talk to Gavin Reed, but that hadn't stopped Hank from calling him;

"Yeah-yeah... I know you have morning shift tomorrow but this is important... It's Nines... I don't know what's going on... No I didn't fucking do anything...! Just be over here in twenty, alright?"

Gavin was at the house in 11 minutes and 37 seconds. He didn't waste time saying hi to Connor and the lieutenant, he marched straight to Nines' door.

He knocked and waited. He got no answer and let out a loud sigh. Gavin was not good at emotions, but he cared about the stupid android locked in his room.

"Hey, tin-can..." his voice lacked the edge that was present when talking to most people, and his supposed insult was uttered more as a term of endearment.

"Um... shit, uh... look, I don't know what-what's going on but can you just talk to me? Look, I'm-we're worried about you, and... uh... fuck..."

Reed ran his hands down his face and tried to articulate himself.

"Um... look, I'm sorry-just, can you please let me in?"

The android stood up and leaned against the door, but he stayed silent.

"...Nines...?" Gavin was more hesitant than he'd ever been, he wanted to be there for his... boyfriend, but he was new to this. What the hell was he supposed to do?

The door slowly opened and Reed took in the disheveled appearance of the RK900. His face would seem blank to anyone else, but Reed saw just how broken he looked. He had no idea what to say.

He went with, "You look fucking awful"

Nines blinked at him, a reaction he had picked up from humans, and then he laughed, but there was no humor in his voice.

"...Hey, G-Gavin" Despite being taller than the detective, he looked small, and weak.

Reed just stared at him and awkwardly shuffled in place, and without much else to do, Nines wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his shoulder.

"I-I'm s-sorry, I just-I don't-I'm sorry, I... I..." He again struggled to catch his breath, and held onto Gavin like his life depended on it.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay... you don't gotta fuckin' apologize for anything" He returned the android's embrace.

Nines made a small, high pitched sound of disagreement, but otherwise didn't object.

Reed pried his arms off of him and made him sit down on the bed. They quickly fell back into holding each other and the android's breathing slowed down enough that he could talk.

"Gavin?"

"Yeah, tin-can?"

Nines explained all of it, struggling with his words and pausing for too long, but still explaining.

His boyfriend was silent for a long moment that only served to fuel his anxiety.

"Nines?"

"...Yeah?"

"I would love you no matter what you wear, okay?" He smiled against Nines' hair.

"But, why... why did you think I'd be mad about any of this?" He pulled away so he could see his face.

A blue blush spread across his face and he hung his head ever so slightly.

"Well... I mean, I don't know, I just get really... nervous about stuff, and I feel like I'm, well- like I'm just bothering you with it"

If Gavin's expression could have softened anymore, it would've.

"Nines; I spent years thinking I was just a burden to people, I thought I was just a stupid girl who wanted attention and made up problems, I wasn't a burden, and you aren't either, alright? It's fine to be nervous and it's fine to like the things that you like"

He smiled the genuine smile that was almost exclusively reserved for his partner.

"But, Gavin-"

"No, it's fucking 2am and I have to do some actual goddamned work tomorrow, so-" he laid back on Nines' mostly unused bed

"-come here and shut up" He complied, and they spent the remaining hours of the early morning wrapped up in each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so I just read through this again and I think it's garbage but y'all can like it I guess


End file.
